What I've been reading

I actually finished Blink some 3 or 4 months ago. I found it completely fascinating. Gladwell is able to write about some rather technical and complex ideas in a vernacular that makes it all seem so understandable and entertaining. This book caused me to take a look at the way I think about things, the way I make decisions, and the way I watch commercials. As I got to the end of the book, I got a little frustrated because it seemed that he was arguing both sides of a debate: is it better to go with your gut (because there is so much that we subconsciously understand) or is it better to really reason things out. It seemed to me that he spent half the book in either camp. But his concluding chapter reconciled all this. He describes how gut instincts are best for certain kinds of decisions, while reason and comparison are best for others. I won't spoil it by telling you which is which. :D

Of course, we picked up The Deathly Hallows as soon as it was released. I'm proud to say that life as we knew it did not get put on hold for an all day read-a-thon. Our whole married life long, we've read these books together. Yes, we sit side by side and nod to each other when we are ready to turn pages. Actually, it is a really fun way to read a book because we can speculate about events as they unfold. But last summer, we were toooooo busy. I think I started it during our camping trip at Payson Lakes, and finished it on the way to Woodbadge. Cori didn't read it until a little later. I had to keep all my thoughts and predictions

to myself as I read. But we loved it, of course. Not only for its great literary merit (please read my sarcastic tone here), but for its wonderful fantasy and adventure. And we just wanted to know how it would all turn out. It was a fun little ride.

As soon as we got home from the hospital, I started a few re-reads. On Becoming Babywise is the sleep-guide book I referenced most when Gracie was a baby. I noticed a few months ago that this issue of baby sleep was being discussed a whole lot in my little bloggy circle. It can be a bit of a touchy subject. I really love the approach and most of the methods suggested in this book. I never had to "Ferberize" Grace, and she started sleeping through the night fairly early, and has been a good sleeper overall. Though, I should say that I have nothing against the Ferber method. I don't find it cruel or abusive. I'm just very grateful I didn't have to use it. (Yet) Grant is a more fussy baby than Grace was, but he is developing good sleep habits too. I really attribute their success to following the methods in this book. I also like the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

How is it that I had never read this book? Wow. I loved every one of its 493 pages. Set in pre-WWI Brooklyn, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is the complete life and times of the young Francie Nolan. We get to know her through and through. Smith associates us with her heroine by giving us unlimited access to all the people who were part of Francie's life, directly and indirectly.


"And the child, Francie Nolan, was of all the Rommelys and all the Nolans. She had the violent weaknesses and passion for beauty of the shanty Nolans. She was a mosaic of her grandmother Rommely's mysticism, her tale-telling, her great belief in everything and her compassion for the weak ones. She had a lot of her grandfather Rommely's cruel will. She had some of her Aunt Evy's talent for mimicking, some of Ruthie Nolan's possessiveness. She had Aunt Sissy's love for life and her love for children. She had Johnny's sentimentality without his good looks. She had all of Katie's soft ways and only half of the invisible steel of Katie. She was made up of all of these good and these bad things. She was made up of more, too. She was the books she read in the library. She was the flower in the brown bowl. Part of her life was made from the tree growing rankly in the yard. "

I love the metaphor of the tree as it is used in this novel. It is a very familiar kind of idea--how we are part of a bigger story, a link in a chain of ancestors and posterity, a branch of a family tree. But this book made me think a little deeper. The branch is so independent, yet it is nothing if not connected to the tree. When the wind blows, the branch keeps a rhythm of movement in cadence with its fellow branches. When the snow falls, the branch leans on other branches to support the weight. And I could go all kinds of metaphor-crazy with ideas of grafting branches, and pruning... I think I'll leave that to Zenos (see Jacob 5). The point is, Smith romances her readers to fall in love with the tree so as to better understand the individual branch.

Contemplating this novel has caused me to reflect on my own surrounding branches, as well as the history of my tree as a whole. It is interesting to reflect on how separate my life has become from those of my loved ones while still being so inescapably connected. It is the miracle that allows us to stand on the shoulders of our mentors' experiences to obtain our own personal achievements.

not on the list

There are a couple of books I've read this year that I would like to not recommend. Most recently, I finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I cannot deny that it was hard to put down. The story is a fascinating idea, and Niffenegger masterfully pulls it off. It jumps all over the place, but every piece fits together to create a picture of a most unique love story that redemptively conquers all. So, why not give it my stamp of recommendation? There is quite a bit of language and s*xuality as well as a completely casual attitude towards drug use and other, shall we say, unlawful behavior. I appreciate that all these things were necessary to the plot. The protagonist's s*x drive is symptomatic of the physical condition which controls his time traveling. And it practically becomes a third member in his relationship with the heroine. Likewise, anytime the protagonist time travels, he arrives at his destination without anything but his physical self; no clothes, no jewelry, not even a filling. Consequently, he becomes accustomed to stealing and occasionally beating people up for their clothing. While the story was a singular and fascinating ride, I can't argue in good conscience that it was worth muddling through all the other stuff. It isn't the kind of book that you can plan on just flipping past the bad parts, because the bad parts are purposefully woven too tightly with the rest.

A little while ago, I treated myself to a Sue Monk Kidd double feature. I bought both The Secret Life of Bees, and The Mermaid Chair on the same day. I read The Secret Life first, and loved it. The Mermaid Chair left a bad taste in my mind. Again, it is a masterfully crafted narrative. The characters are real and relative. Disappointment set in as the plot began swirling with infidelity, selfishness, and a couple of pages that I could have done without. I feel that Kidd deals realistically with all the consequences of her protagonist's choices. And there is an important warning--particularly to stay-at-home moms like myself--who have sacrificed personal aspirations for other life roll responsibilities. But again, I can't argue in good conscience that it is worth muddling through all the bad stuff to enjoy the good.

The humanities student inside can academically account for the presence of the bad aspects of these novels. I know the muck isn't there for muck's sake alone. It serves a purpose that goes beyond cheap Soap Opera tactics. The sad truth is that this junk is part of the world we are surrounded by. But this doesn't change the fact that it is still muck. Life is too short, and there are too many other amazing books out there.

For One More Day

For One More Day
I just finished this last week. It has been a wonderful read to have before Mother's Day. In the introduction, Albom begins the novel:

.

This is a story about a family and, as there is a ghost involved, you might call it a ghost story. But every family is a ghost story. The dead sit at our tables long after they have gone.

.

So true. I won't say much about the plot. In a nut shell, Chick Benetto, who has hit absolute rock bottom in his life, is given one more day with his dead mother. In the 24 hours they spend together, Albom explores the complexities of family relationships, and the way they influence life for life.

.

The charming thing about the book is that it isn't complex. (Aside from the fact that there is a guy hanging out with his dead mother.) I found I was nodding and seeing little pieces of myself and people who are close to me in the pages.

.

I have so many thoughts about the book, but I don't want to give anything away. So if any of y'all pick it up, we'll chat. All said, it is bitter-sweet story, with an interesting ending that is stuffed with life wisdom. Its a fast read, and I'd recommend it.

.

I'll never know exactly how much my mother has done for me--and continues to do for me, but I do know that I've taken it for granted. The good news... and I'm so grateful... I still have the opportunity to express my thanks to her.

What I've been reading

Between all the traveling we've done lately, and all the nights I've spent on the couch or in bed feeling less than great, I've done quite a bit of reading. In no particular order, here's a little taste of what I've had my nose in.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

This is a novel that I loved at its beginning, detested in its rising action, and adored at its denouement. Despite my range of emotional reactions, it was a page turner. I was surprised. Edwards has a remarkable talent for putting indescribable experiences into just the right words. Her descriptions of being a new parent, finding clothes that fit a week after delivery, nursing, loving, and trying to keep things together were nostalgically perfect. She weaves a compelling story of an unthinkable secret that affects two families. One family is completely devastated as a result of this secret. And juxtaposed to the devastation is another family that flowers in love and security. The narrative warns of fear and selfishness simultaneously glimmering with redemption and hope. The characters are real, hence my detestation at watching some of them change and degenerate because of their choices. I took a new look at my interpersonal relationships, as well as my own fears insecurities that I allow to influence my choices.

The Remains of the Day

This was a re-read that I try to get in every year or so. Its one of my favorites. Ishiguro won the Booker Prize (the most prestigious literary award in the UK) for this novel. Its narrative style is very unique as the story is told in the past tense times two. Stevens, the protagonist, is in the midst of a big change and he takes a journey through his past as he travels to meet an old friend. The reader is constantly being thrust from his memories to the situations he is encountering along his trip. The fantastic effect of this style is that we are seeing everything through Steven's paradigm and Ishiguro challenges us to read what has been written between the lines. What unfolds is a quietly tragic tale of a life lived for the wrong cause. I learned so much about myself when I first read this. It was like holding a magnification mirror up to a piece of me I had never wanted to see. But it was liberating to acknowledge this part of myself, because I was able to change it. I realized that I had given myself certain titles, like Stevens. He was the quintessential butler, and allowed this title to rule his behavior to the point that he wasn't consciously making his own choices. Similarly, I had defined myself by titles like 'straight A student', or 'go to girl' and I was shocked to see how much I allowed these titles to occasionally rule over my choices and skew my priorities. The lesson is learned anew every time I read it, as I am constantly adding new titles to my identity. This was my first time reading the novel as a mother, and I had a list of things to work on when I finished.

Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman

An Assembly Such as This

This is a novel in three parts that my mom sent to me. She has read several Pride and Prejudice (or P&P as we true fans call it) re-works and sequels, and proclaimed this her favorite. I was skeptical at first, but once I was in, I couldn't put the book down. I LOVE IT! Though, I've only read the first installment, and half of the second. It brilliantly tells the P&P story entirely from Darcy's point of view. Aidan weaves in and out of Austen's narrative, quoting dialogues exactly. But every action point has a new light shining on it as we approach it from Darcy's perspective. The novel as a concept makes a ton of sense to me. Its almost like Austen intended to go back some day and write the 'He Said' companion to this 'She Said' novel. There is so much of Darcy's life and situation that don't get explored- he is such a darn enigma! This novel is laced with historical information and laugh-out-loud comical interactions that put a lot of meat onto Darcy's character. It cleverly explores the sources of Darcy's seemingly abrupt and inconsistent behaviors. I was worried that reading a work like this would taint my original P&P experiences, but on the contrary, this series has only enhanced so far.

The Nazi Officer's Wife

I read this one for book club. I've read several books about the Holocaust, and this one was decidedly different. It is the true story of how Edith Hahn Beer, a Jew from Vienna, survived the Holocaust by assuming a false identity and ultimately marrying a Nazi. It was fascinating to read about how the Nazi's and the war were viewed as they spread across Europe. It was also heartbreaking to be involved in her story as she struggled through complete rejection as a Jew in a Nazi world, only to be rejected by other Jews in a post Nazi world because she didn't go to a concentration camp. Through all of her heartache, she was ambitious and optimistic. She completed law school and practiced as a judge. She experienced motherhood. She had true joy and happiness in her life. I would laugh and turn the page and cry and turn the page and laugh again. I definitely recommend this book.

The Alchemist

I finished my first read of the year last night. It was completely refreshing. In the words of another critic, "The Alchemist is a beautiful book about magic, dreams and the treasures we seek elsewhere and then find at or doorstep". Coelho uses powerful and transparent symbols- a person's Personal Legend (destiny), the Hand that wrote all things (our Creator), omens, and the Soul of the World. Melchizedek and the Urim and Thummim make an appearance as well. A provocitive tension builds as a simple shepherd faces many not so simple choices to discover and realize his Personal Legend. The narrative is laced with parables and pointed wisdom. It was a good reminder.

There were two ideas that surfaced several times which I loved in particular. First, I believe in the philosophy that all of the events in life are connected. Every experience we have, every person we meet, and every success and failure are part of one great whole. This is something that I have come to love about life. Point in case: It is a miracle that Cori and I were in the same place at the same time for long enough to date and fall in love. And it was a complex string of seemingly unrelated choices, people, successes and failures in both of our lives that brought us there.

Secondly, I am impressed by the belief that when a person is in quest of his Personal Legend, all the forces of the universe conspire in that persons favor to steer him in the right direction and bring ultimate success. There have been plenty of times in my life that I would have argued that his was more idealistic than realistic. But, when I take a look at the big picture, any time I have spent in the valleys has been a means of bringing me to higher peaks.

This was a book that I enjoyed on every level. Intellectually, it was provocative. Spiritually, it was nourishing. Romantically, it was a fairytale.